Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The "DA" Syndrome

Hi,
I have recently been diagnosed with The "DA" syndrome. It came as quite a shock to me as well. I was on the phone with a friend from the US of A, and while talking to her, I happened to blurt out the syllable "DA".I didn’t realise that I did so until my friend at the other end started off with a small giggle which soon turned into a full fledged cackle(Basically means she was laughing like crazy).And there I was standing like an idiot with the mobile, standing in street(because the signal in my house is sad, that’s a whole new story),as I was saying, there I was standing in my street helplessly waiting for her to stop laughing. When she finally did stop, she explained to me in the politest of ways that I now suffer from what is known as The "DA" syndrome. She pointed out that it doesn’t only include the excessive use of the word "DA" but also involved a singsong accent that I had apparently developed and the inability to finish any question without adding an annoying "UNHH" sound at the end.
Example-
Coming...UNH??
After she told me this, our chat lasted barely 2 more minutes, mainly because I started using a wide range of accents ranging from Scottish to Australian to cover up my Chennai accent. This kind of freaked her out and she cut me off with a hasty "Got to go..sorry..bye".
This is where i began my research on this epidemic.

The "DA" syndrome is a common progressive verbal disorder characterized by irrepressible urge to conclude every sentence with the syllable "DA".It was first diagnosed among the English speaking community in and around the South Indian metropolis of Chennai.It then spread swiftly and uncontrollably to rest of Tamil Nadu. And it has now making its way into Kerala and Karnataka.

SYMPTOMS
1) Excessive and irrepressible use of "DA" at the end of every sentence.
USAGE:” Are you coming DA"?
It can also be used at the beginning of the sentence.
USAGE: DA! Are u coming or not?

2) Use of the word MACHAN/MACHI to refer to every single person you wish to converse with.
Loosely translated MACHAN in Tamil means "Brother-In-Law". Don’t ask me why people go around calling every other guy "Brother-In-Law", in most cases the guy doesn’t even have a sister to let you marry...and even if he did, I am pretty sure he is not going to get her married to a guy like me or YOU!
USAGE: “MACHAN, How’s life?”
USAGE: "MACHAN, pass the book DA" (This is an extreme case of the syndrome where the subject uses both MACHAN and DA. This is what i am suffering from)

3)Sing Song Accent
There really isn’t any example that i can provide here coz it is something that must be heard rather than read! I would be more than happy to perform a live demonstration if you ever have the luxury of meeting yours truly! It really helps if you have a melodious voice coz people just might start dancing in the middle when you are speaking really fast.

4) The Inability to end a question without adding that annoying UNHH sound at the end.
This is a deep-routed problem, which has been traced to Man's innate need to be lethargic/lazy. We just can’t complete the whole question; we have to come up with a way to shorten the sentence, even if it is by a mere 2 words.
The correct example: Are you studying?
The "DA" Syndrome Example: Studying..UNHH?

5) Use of words like DAI etc.
Sorry, I had to use "etc" coz every other word in this category is an obscenity and since this is a PG-13 Blog, I’d rather not spell out the words for you. Yet again i would be more than happy to give you a live demonstration if you ever need one.
USAGE: “O**A..DAI..P****E.”
You don’t really have to be grammatically correct as long as you are screaming at the other guy. This final symptom is usually the last to develop and takes years of practice before being able to deliver it with conviction. Which, I am not so proud to say, I have mastered. :(

PRESCRIBED MEDICATION
I am sorry to say that there is no proven cure for this yet. We are vigorously working towards finding a cure. Until then you could try to stop talking all together. Even though prolonged use of this method may induce a sense of insanity. It at least reduces the chances of spreading this epidemic.

PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE
Don’t come to Chennai or any other South Indian metropolis.
Should circumstances force you to come here, be sure that you have ample supply of cotton to stuff your ears with.
Even if you have to speak with anyone, try to arrange for a translator and speak with him in Tamil itself...trust me...its worth the cost.

By the way, a very similar problem is currently spreading in the North as well. It has been labeled the “YAAR” syndrome. But for some reason it sounds cooler rather than dorky.

That round about covers most aspects of this syndrome. If my post helps at least a single lost soul out there to steer away from this dreadful disease, then i have done my job well, all this work is worth it.

Yours Sincerely
Gowri Shankar
TATA!

P.S. All donations to the find a cure for this dreaded disease maybe made to my name.

22 comments:

foggy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
foggy said...

its really funny ... and actually its the bitter truth ..

ranjit said...

what da... why are u insulting all chennaities da?... ok da, i could nt get ur sin song accent, demonstrate in college sometime da.. Bye da..

unknown said...

ofcourse u true...but me love if some one calls me with "da".."yaar" is getting popular in chennai...
now u know south indains learning north indian stuffs and vis versa...
but anyhow i didnt understand singsong accent wating for demo..
thanks for dropping:-)

Gowri Shankar said...

lol...looks like no one got the sing-song accent..maybe its just me :(
It takes place wen a guy is speaking really fast.

Hiren said...

In north, apart from "yaar", it could be others- "paaji", "pappe" etc. The way you have described "DA", it seems like "Don't Annoy"

Ajay said...

yeah i agree with u dude.. nice blog and thanks for dronin.....
keep visiting

Paurna said...

nice informative post dude.hey what bout the "dude" syndrome.u shud have written bout that.

Gowri Shankar said...

Iam not yet been completely diagonsed with the dude syndrome....we can discuss that once i move to usa and start aping them. :)

Krithiga said...

Have you heard the IIT slang? Junta, funda, slisha, etc. The worst part is they use the verb "put" to describe every possible action that a human being can possibly perform. Can you understand what "Put Bogs" mean? It means to answer nature's call. What's the funda? I can never get it right.

Gowri Shankar said...

lol..and here i was being embarrassed of my lingo...another IIT lingo is "hazaaar"...had first hand experience of that once...u can almost pick out the iit guys talking in a crowd by the times they use this word.

Anonymous said...

DA DA DA,,, Spreading to Ragnarok players all over India..

R$y said...

ha ha u suck at blogging man

Deepak said...

I dont have any syndromes u say. But i have seen it in lots of people and its true that people get irritated when u keep on usin it.Costed u a lot with the us girl.

Anonymous said...

u forgot these to amazin words DA.. PA and YA..PA is used for second person.. and ya is used to answer to those questions..
"wat pa movie goodu no?".. "ya pa".. the song accentu is the bestna.. u shud try writin a blog with the song accent DA

Anonymous said...

tis a real funny n innovative blog....xploitin the language....maybe u can make everyone at college be aware of this syndrome by demonstratin it.........

AdarshDADA M.B.B.S said...

uh oh
And I thought DA means friend or bro in Tamil.
Thtz why i used it for quite sometime

Anonymous said...

hehe...this is exactly what happened to me when i went to chennai for studies :P
funny thing being, i suffered from 'yaar' n 're' syndrome cos i'm from north india and now 'da' synd
now i speak like this
"yaar, i'm coming da" :P

gamefrk said...

Hi DA
How are you DA?
Me fine DA
What about you DA?

Anonymous said...

Hey DA....

Ress Da...... Hey Da sup???


Lolz.....

Sidharth said...

Gowri goood one...

iam also uffering from the same but not the singy thing cos iam not tamil basically :P

karthika said...

Wait hold on!!! That was going to be a topic for my blog too, but you wrote before i did.

I used to never allow anyone to address me by "da" or "di" when i was in muscat. I think it's "cheri" language and I was totally against it!

After coming here for UG studies, it's like inevitable. I initially had to accept "di" being in an all girls college. Oh but the usage varies. "di" is when you speak in tamil. "da" is for english. Worse, is when some my seniors addressed each other "macha". how gay, no les, no whatever. Girls addressing each other "brother in law", i hate it when guys address each other that, forget girls. Even frivolous is some teachers who use "da ma" . Di is one, Da is another , ma is politely another. Now wat the heck is "da ma". It's like, teachers trying to overcome the feelings that there are no guys in our college? "why da ma" " submit tomoro da ma" ....ew ew ew...
and there are several other innovative users as well.

Finally i am giving in. If only i use "di" or "da " appropriately, it seems like i glue in. It makes you feel like one among the people. After all, when in rome, be a roman. However i still barr from using da or di while speaking in english. No mixed usage.Tamil confines to tamil. As it is i kill the language so much.

cheers